Categories
Books

《大女生》- 杨澜

Da Nv Sheng Big Girl

杨澜的《大女生》(英文翻译为 “Big Girl”) 在我的书架上已经放了好长一段时间了,我一直没时间好好读一读。这两天因为得了感冒,晚上咳的睡不着,刚好拿这本书来打发时间。

看这本书之前,我其实不太知道封面上擦艳红的口红、穿黑色蕾丝的女人是谁。原来她是中国有名的电视节目主持人,杨澜。她曾担任4年中央电视台《正大综艺》节目主持人,并于1994年获中国第一届主持人“金话筒奖”。她开创中国电视第一个深度高端访谈节目《杨澜访谈录》访问过600余名著名人物,在全球华语观众中具有很高美誉度。后来和她丈夫丈夫吴征开办了大中华区第一个历史人文电视频道——阳光卫视。2005年,杨澜创办了主要针对中国都市女性的谈话节目《天下女人》。好厉害的女人啊!

我以为这本书会很枯燥乏味,但却越看越爱不释手。杨澜用生动的小故事和名人的名句,构造出女人应该如何在现在的社会里做一个大女生。

这几段是我特别喜欢的,摘出来与大家分享,也提醒我自己:

我尽最大努力去倾听、理解、接纳她的世界,尽最大可能不加评判地提出自己的分析和建议,有时也直接承认束手无策。是的,有些事只有靠她自己去面对,有些事只有时间能够解决。成长是痛苦的,我的任务是陪伴、去安慰、去指导,但我不可能去代替。当她的情绪平复,需要自己一段时间独处,我就紧紧地拥抱她,说我永远爱她,然后离开她的房间。门在身后被关上,里面是她终究要自己面对的世界。爱,是有边界的。作为母亲,必须清楚这一点。

当我们不受外界眼光的驱使而做自己的时候,那份自在,就是幸福的模样。

踏出舒适圈不是盲目的,更不是跟风的。它源于自我认同和创造的渴望,懂得欣赏和感激,从积极的角度发现机遇,找到发挥自身优势的“甜蜜点”,在挫折中有承受压力、总结经验、改善方法的智慧,才是每个人都可以拥有的成长方式。

爱的关系,不是控制与反控制的博弈,不是你错我对的执念,而是一种深刻的共识:在这段关系里,你可以成为更好的你,我可以成为更好的我,我们共同成为更好的我们。

Categories
Books

Warren Buffet and The Interpretation of Financial Statements

I have been dabbling in stocks in the past few years. I have managed to pick a few really good stocks but there are also not-so-good ones. I thought to myself: “There has to be a better way of picking stocks than random guessing.” What better way to learn about investing than learning from Warren Buffet, the most successful investor in the world. I promptly bought a copy of the book “Warren Buffet and the Interpretation of Financial Statements” started learning.

Warren Buffet and The Intepretation of Financial Statements

The reason Warren Buffet is so good at picking stocks is because he reads thousands of financial statements everyday. I thought I knew how to read financial statements, but in this book, Warren Buffet gives detailed breakdown of each component and what to look out for:

  • consistently high Gross Profit Margins (Gross Profit / Total Revenues) >40% = durable competitive advantage (check for last 10 years)
  • Selling, General and Administrative Expenses should be between 30-80% of gross profit
  • Don’t have to spend heavily on R&D
  • Low Depreciation Cost as a percentage of gross profit
  • Little or no Interest Expense <15% of operating income
  • Increasing Retained Earnings = durable competitive advantage
  • Treasury Shares/Stock = durable competitive advantage
  • Buy back stocks = durable competitive advantage
Categories
Books

“Awaken Your Genius” by Ozan Varol – The Purpose of Life

For as long as I remember, I have been asking myself this question: what is the purpose of life?

Is it to finish school, get a job, get married and have kids? Is it to become a bolt of the big machine of society and contribute my worth? Is it to  procreate to ensure the existence of our human species?

Is that all to life? That sounds so boring and I just want to wilt and die at the thought of that life.

I think I might have found the answer to the question of what is the purpose of life after reading the book “Awaken Your Genius” by Ozan Varol.

Awaken Your Genius by Ozan Varol

There is one quote in the book that I really like:

Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what make you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.

I think I have read this quote by Howard Thurman in another book and it really speaks to me.

We are not going to be of any use to society if we are living zombies. We need to be alive and to do that, we need to explore the things we are curious about and let our inner child come out to play.

This knowledge gives me such joy. It’s almost as if this book gives me the permission to try the things I have always wanted to do. Just because I have been a nurse for over 10 years don’t mean I can’t become someone new. And I don’t have to do it in a drastic way by quitting my job, I can slowly ease the transition or explore other opportunities.

The book “Awaken Your Genius” by Ozan Varol shows many ways to make us come alive once again.

I strongly encourage everyone to read this book. It will alter your thinking and potentially transform your life. At the very least, it will be an entertaining read.

Categories
Books

Are You on Sidewalk, Slowlane or The Millionaire Fastlane?

The Millionaire Fastlane

I keep buying self-help books but The Millionaire Fastlane is the only one I managed to finish from cover to cover, in a long time.

The way the book classifies people’s lifestyle into sidewalk, slowlane and fastlane is interesting.

People who live on the sidewalk live paycheck to paycheck. All they want is a steady job and television after work. As I was reading about the sidewalk, I was reminded of the time my mother blew up because I used up all $900 that she gave me for allowance. Till this day, I can’t remember what I bought with that $900. And there’s also the time when I borrowed money from licensed money lender to travel with then-boyfriend.

Most people naturally graduate to the slowlane as they become wiser with age. I thought I was so smart by investing in stocks but it turned out investing is the slowlane. Warren Buffet accumulated most of his wealth after 65 years old. As long as you invest in reliable companies year after year like Warren Buffet, everyone can become a millionaire given 40+ years. But do I want to become a millionaire when I am too old to enjoy my success?

I want to be on the fastlane. To be exact, I want to be on The Millionaire Fastlane. It can be done and it has been done by many young entrepreneurs like Larry Page, Mark Zuckerberg and Jeff Bezos. They are all less than 40 years old and billionaires, so what’s stopping me?

To be on The Millionaire Fastlane, I need to create and solve people’s problems. The more people I solve problem for, the money money I will make. I remember writing an article that life is about creation, but I didn’t know what I was to create. Now I know, I should be creating solutions to people’s problems.

Categories
Books

The Complete Guide to Living in Singapore

I know it can be disorienting and scary starting a life in a foreign land so I wrote a guide which I hope will give you some help and guidance.

This book is not your usual tourist book about the Top 10 Attractions in Singapore (although I will touch on that in the later chapters). This is a manual about living in Singapore, from a naturalised Singapore citizen who has been living in Singapore for more than 20 years. I have come to love this tiny island country which may be small but has everything you possibly need, if you know where to look. 

The Complete Guide to Living in Singapore
You can buy it here on Amazon.
Categories
Books

The Happiness of Pursuit – Finding Purpose in Life Through Quests

One of my favorite book is Chris Guillebeau’s book “The $100 Startup”. Because I read that book, NLB app recommended “The Happiness of Pursuit” to me.

I have been pondering the question since my 20s: what is the purpose of my life? It can’t be just to graduate, get a job, get married and have kids? If that’s all to life, how am I different from animals?

The Happiness of Pursuit

“The Happiness of Pursuit” suggests that we can embark on quests to bring meaning into our lives.

A quest is different from general life improvements such as getting in shape or quitting smoking. A quest has the following characteristics:

  • A clear goal and a specific end point: You can clearly explain a quest in a sentence or two. Every quest has a beginning, and every quest will come to an end.
  • A clear challenge: You need to overcome something, it does not have to dangerous or impossible but it shouldn’t be easy.
  • Requires sacrifice: To pursue a big dream, you must give something up along the way.
  • Driven by a calling or a sense of mission: It need not be divine inspiration but most people feel pushed or driven to pursue their quest.
  • Incremental progress towards the goal: Many quests are composed of a long and slow march towards something.

To sum it up, a quest is a journey towards something specific, with a number of challenges thoughtout. Most quests also require a series of logical steps and some kind of personal growth.

I, for one, have a quest. I want to visit every country at least once   in this lifetime. I have had this dream since young. I don’t know why, but I just have this burning desire to travel the world.

My parents kept telling me that it is meaningless and a total waste of money. I kind of accepted that and made peace with myself that I will go to as many counties as I can.

But after reading “The Happiness of Pursuit” and reading about how Chris Guillebeau achieved his quest of visiting every country before the age of 35, I realised that if he can do it, why can’t I? It rekindled the fire for this lifetime quest and I am going to finish it. I don’t know what kind of personal growth I will get out of it but at least I know I will be happy that I have done it.

What is your next quest?

Categories
Books

超级恋爱催眠术 – Love Psychology Methods to Help You Find Love

Love Psychology is a subtype of psychology where you bypass the guy’s conscious mind and speak directly to his subconscious mind.

I’m sure you know of pretty ladies who have problem finding a boyfriend, yet there are other not-so-good-looking women with guys falling at their heels.

The reason the pretty ladies cannot find love while the not-so-pretty ladies can, is because the not-so-pretty ladies learned about love psychology.

超级恋爱催眠术

Let me share with you 5 love psychology methods that I recently learned from this book 超级恋爱催眠术.

Wineglass Method

This method will help you to get a guy’s attention at a party

How to do it: Make sure he can see you, order a glass of red/white wine, run your fingers from bottom of the wine glass stem to top.

Why it works: The wine stem looks like a penis, his subconscious mind will feel like you are stroking his penis.

Physical Touch

If you like a guy and you want to know if he is interested in you, you can use this Physical Touch method.

How to do it: Touch his shoulder in a I-only-touched-your-shoulder-because-I-have-no-choice way, such as touching his shoulder to stand up or make your way out to the toilet. If he does not show any sign of discomfort, you can now proceed to touch his arm. Again, do it in an unintentional way, such as asking him to pass you the sauce. If he still does not show any sign of dislike, you can be sure he does like you.

Why this works: Most of us only like to be touched by people we like and trust. Start from the shoulder which is more neutral and slowly proceed to arm which is more personal.

Extra 2 Seconds

If you want a guy to know that you are interested in him, use this Extra 2 Seconds Method.

How to do it: Look at him for extra 2 seconds and look away

Why it works: He will be puzzled why you look at him for an extra 2 seconds, and when you do it a few times, his subconscious mind will pick up the message that you are interested in him.

Mirror His Actions

If you want to let someone’s guard down, be it a stranger or a new  colleague, you just have to mirror his actions.

How to do it: If he rests his arms on the table while asking you a question, rest your arms on the table while answering him.

Why it works: This will make him think “it feels like I have known her for a very long time”.

Mirror His Emotion

If you want establish deep connection between you and someone else such as your spouse/children/parents/colleagues, mirror his emotions:

How to do it: If he says something to you in a happy tone, reply in a happy tone. If he says something to you in an angry tone, reply in an angry tone.

Why it works: This will make him think that you understand him, hence he feels emotionally closer to you.

Besides the 5 love psychology tricks that I have listed above, 超级恋爱催眠术, there are many other tips and tricks in this book. I highly recommend this book for anyone looking to find love. The only problem for some is this is a Chinese book so it’s a bummer if you can’t read Chinese.

 

Categories
Books

Surrounded by Idiots by Thomas Erikson

Do you find that you get along better with certain people rather than others? It is easy to talk to some of your friends; you always found the right words and everything just flowed smoothly. There were never any conflicts, and you liked one another.

With other people, however, everything just went wrong. What you say fall on deaf ears, no matter how you conduct yourself. We call them idiots, but it’s really because we don’t understand them. This is because 

Everything you say to a person is filtered through his frames of preference, biases and preconceived ideas. What remains is ultimately the message that he understands. It is very rare that the entire message gets through exactly as you conceived it in your mind. 

Surrounded by Idiots

I recently read the book ‘Surrounded by Idiots’ by Thomas Erikson and I learned a lot about different personality types from this book. There are many ways to categorise personality and human behaviour. This book uses the widely-used method called DISA – an acronym that stands for Dominance, Inducement, Submission and Analytic. Each of these behavior types is associated with a color – Red, Yellow, Green and Blue.

It’s important to understand the 4 different types of human behavior pattern so that we can communicate better. About 80 percent of all people have a combination of two colors that dominate their behavior. Approximately 5 percent have only one color that dominates behavior. The others are dominated by three colors.

Let’s go through each of these 4 personality types and their characteristics.

The 4 Personality Types

Red – Real Alpha  

  • Aggressive 
  • Goal-oriented 
  • Controlling 
  • Convincing 
  • Performance-oriented
  • Powerful
  • Results-oriented 
  • Intense
  • Opinionated
  • Straightforward 
  • Independent 
  • Decisive
  • Impatient 
  • Pushing 
  • Speed
  • Timekeeper
  • Ambitious 
  • Problem-solver 
  • Initiator
  • Strong-willed 
  • Pioneer
  • Innovator

A Red person is a dynamic and driven individual. He has goals in life that others may find difficult to even imagine. Reds strive forward, always pushing themselves harder, and they almost never give up. Reds are task-oriented extroverts and they enjoy challenges. They make quick decisions and are often comfortable taking the lead and taking risks. A common perception is that Reds are natural leaders. These are people who willingly take command and go to the fore. Their disposition is ideal in competitive situations such as a CEO or a president. 

Reds have no problem being blunt. When asked a specific question, they often say exactly what they think, without any frills. They have opinions on most things, and they trot their thoughts out quickly and efficiently.

Few things annoy Reds more than sluggishness. While other people may find it difficult to make a decision, Reds are prepared to make quick decisions in order to keep things moving. Once he’s decided, then it’s full steam ahead.

Reds love difficult tasks, so their level of ambition is usually boundless. The ability to manage difficult situations and challenges is the defining attribute of Red behavior.

Famous Reds: Steve Jobs, FDR, Venus Williams, Margaret Thatcher, Barack Obama and Mother Teresa.

Yellow – Heads in the Clouds

  • Talkative 
  • Charming 
  • Self-centered
  • Sensitive 
  • Needs attention
  • Communicative 
  • Spontaneous 
  • Social 
  • Inspiring 
  • Full of vitality 
  • Open 
  • Sociable 
  • Enthusiastic 
  • Adaptable 
  • Flexible
  • Optimistic 
  • Expressive
  • Creative 
  • Imaginative 
  • Easygoing 
  • Encouraging 
  • Persuasive 

Recognizing a Yellow is easy. He’s the one who’s talking all the time. He’s the one who gives answers rather than asking questions. He answers a question by telling a story that may or may not have anything to do with the issue. But it really doesn’t matter, because he will put you in a cheerful mood. Besides, his unshakably positive attitude also makes it impossible for you to feel upset for long. 

They are also very typically touchy-feely people. Like Reds, Yellows are very willing to make quick decisions, but they can rarely explain why using rational reasoning.

People with lots of Yellow in their behavior are focused on creating relationships. They inspire those around them, and the best way to achieve this is through building relationships. Yellows know everyone. They have more acquaintances than everyone else. They like everyone. A Yellow doesn’t need to know a person very well before calling him his friend. Anyone who doesn’t actively dislike them they consider to be a pal.

Just like Reds, Yellows have lots of energy. They find most things interesting, and Yellow individuals are the most curious people you’ll ever meet. Everything new is enjoyable, and a great deal of Yellow energy is spent finding new ways of doing things. Yellows want to know what’s going on. They want to be where it’s all happening, and they will make sure to be at every party. 

If there is anything that characterizes Yellow behavior, it’s unlimited optimism and enthusiasm. The Yellows’ entire being is concentrated on one thing—finding opportunities and solutions. Yellows have the unique ability to twist and turn things. To put it simply, they turn everything upside down and think outside the box. The Yellow’s intellect is very fast, which means that it can be difficult to keep up. Sometimes they can even find it difficult to explain their wild ideas.

With all their energy and optimism, Yellows are very persuasive. It’s easy for them to get carried away, seeing opportunities and solutions where others might only see a dead end. With the help of language, they really are masters at winning over people to their side. Most Yellows have a rich and varied way of gesticulating, so that they can convince you not just with their words, but with their entire bodies. But it’s not just energy and will. Yellows have a unique way of expressing themselves that sways their listeners. They often use vivid and colorful imagery when they speak, which appeals to all five senses and creates an impression that is felt by the whole body.

Famous Yellow: Oprah Winfrey, Robin Williams, Ellen DeGeneres, Pippin from The Lord of the Rings and Han Solo from Star Wars.

Green – Change is Difficult 

  • Relaxed 
  • Self-controlled 
  • Composed 
  • Modest 
  • Lengthy 
  • Prudent 
  • Discreet 
  • Reluctant
  • Conceals feelings 
  • Thoughtful 
  • Considerate 
  • Kind
  • Helpful 
  • Supportive 
  • Persistent 
  • Stable 
  • Reliable
  • Loyal 
  • Producer
  • Good listener 
  • Understanding 
  • Patient

Greens are more passive than others, they are easy to deal with. They let you be yourself. They don’t demand much, and they never kick up a fuss unnecessarily.

Greens will not offend people if they can avoid it. They’d rather not offend anyone at all. They usually strive to fit in, which makes them more balanced people. They’re ideal for calming down confused Yellows and they’re excellent at warming up Blues, who, on occasion, can be a tad too cold.

You can expect a helping hand from a Green whenever you need it. They are pronounced relational people who will do everything within their power to save your relationship. And they will invest lifelong.

They are also pronounced team players. The team, the group, the family, always comes before the individual, and I would even say that societies consisting of Greens will always take care of the sick and the weak. They will not leave a friend in need; you can call them at any time. They always offer a shoulder to cry on.

Change isn’t their greatest strength, even though change isn’t completely foreign to them. If you can simply justify the change and give him enough time, even a Green will be prepared to try new things.

If a Green says that he will do something, you can be confident that he’ll do it. If it’s in his power to deliver, he will. It won’t be done in the shortest amount of time possible, but it will show up in your inbox roughly within the expected time frame. For the Green, it’s natural to look after everyone else around them.

If your organization needs reliable employees, then hire Greens. They constitute the stable core who will do the job well. They don’t have problems taking orders—as long as the orders are formulated in an appealing fashion. Greens enjoy stability and a certain predictability in the workplace, in the home, with the family, just about everywhere.

Greens are introverts, they don’t talk just for the sake of talking. When you are quieter than those around you, it’s natural that you listen. And Greens will listen. They are interested in you and your ideas. They have a genuine ear for human problems. They might not offer any suggestions or solutions, but they understand what you’ve told them. You often find Greens in the public sector, where they help others, with no concern for personal gain.

Famous Greens: Mr. Rogers, Gandhi, Michelle Obama, Jimmy Carter and Jesus.

Blue – In Pursuit of Perfection

  • Seeks facts
  • Correct
  • Quality-oriented
  • Perfectionist
  • Scrutinizes
  • Meticulous 
  • Systematic 
  • Questioning 
  • Conscientious 
  • Conventional 
  • Logical 
  • Analytical 
  • Objective 
  • Structured 
  • Methodical 
  • Follows rules 
  • Reflecting 
  • Needs time 
  • Quiet
  • Reserved 
  • Distant 

Blues check their facts before they open their mouth. If the question doesn’t come up, it’s unlikely that your Blue buddy will say anything on the subject. He has no need to tell everyone about what he knows. But you can usually bank on the fact that what he says is correct.

Blues are impressively modest to avoid making a fuss, even if you know everything. It’s usually sufficient that you, the Blue, are clear about who knows best. A Blue may know a thing or two, but because Blues often miss the big picture, they don’t always act immediately. He knew that he knew the answer, and that was good enough. There’s also no need to cheer, applaud, or call a Blue up to the podium when he’s done something tremendous in an amazing way.

A Blue can rarely get too many facts or have too many pages of fine print. No detail is too small to be noticed. Cutting corners is simply not an option for a Blue. He would rather burn the midnight oil checking all the facts of the case than miss the slightest detail. A common misconception is that Blues are unable to make decisions, but that’s not the case. He simply had no need to decide. For him, the process leading up to the decision was significantly more interesting.

Another important characteristic Blue behavior is they’re generally very cautious. They often think safety first. Where a Red or Yellow would take a wild chance, a Blue will hold off and consider everything one more time. You need to get to the bottom of things before you act. Sometimes a Blue can even completely refrain from starting something because he can’t assess the risks. A Blue generally solves everything by creating advanced systems that manage the possible risks that may arise. The benefits of this are evident. Blues won’t be taken aback by unexpected events in the same way others would be. And in the long run, they save a lot of time.

Things can’t be allowed to go wrong. Quality is all that matters. When a Blue individual thinks his work runs the risk of being shoddy or low quality, things come to a standstill. Everything must be checked out. A Blue is prepared to dive deep to get everything exactly 100 percent correct. Blues argue that if they’re going to do something, they must do it correctly. As a very honorable and honest person, Blues usually find it difficult to lie, they will always point out the defects they uncover—even defects that may reflect poorly on them.

Logical and rational thinking is critical to a Blue. Out with all the feelings (as much as possible) and in with logic. They value logical thinking highly, but they can very easily become depressed when things don’t go their way. Few people can repeat the same task an infinite number of times in exactly the same way like Blues can. They have a unique ability to precisely follow instructions to the letter without questioning, provided they understood and approved of it in the beginning. 

It’s impossible to find arguments that a true Blue will accept. He will never be fooled; he will always get what he paid for. It gives him an inner peace because he knows he has checked everything out very accurately. Under normal circumstances, they’re very calm and balanced. Probably because they keep tabs on everything.

Many Blues I’ve met don’t say a single word unnecessarily. They are just very, very introverted. Quiet on the outside, but under the surface anything could be happening. Listen attentively when Blues do actually talk, because they’ve usually thought through what they say. It’s because they don’t feel the need to be heard. They are observers, spectators, more than central characters. They can find themselves at the edge of a group where they observe and record everything that is said. According to a Blue’s values, being silent is something positive. If you have nothing to say—keep quiet.

Famous Blues: Bill Gates, Albert Einstein, Sandra Day O’Connor, Condoleezza Rice, Mr. Spock from Star Trek.

Adapting to Red Behavior 

If you want to adapt to a Red’s tempo—hurry up! Speed up! Speak and act more quickly. Look at the clock often, because that’s what a Red does. If you can conclude a meeting in half the time—do it!

If you want to have a Red’s full attention, cut the small talk. It’s vital that you’re clear and straightforward. Determine the most essential point of your message and start there.

Don’t use a single word unnecessarily. But make sure you’ve done your homework when it comes to the background. Questions may come up. If a Red senses that you’re uncertain, you’ll be grilled on the facts. Written materials should be concise and, above all, well laid out. No endless dissertations written by someone who loves the sound of his own voice. A single line jotted down on the back of the napkin will do the job.

Stick to the topic! The easiest way is to prepare your case very precisely before going into a meeting with a Red. If, in the middle of an interesting discussion, another thought pops into your head, write it down and ask at the end of the meeting if it’s okay to raise the issue. Otherwise, schedule a new meeting.

Paradoxically, Reds are the easiest to sell to. If you want to do good business, the only thing you need to do is step into a Red’s office, present your suggestions, and then ask about a deal. When a Red trusts you and has decided that you’re a decent person who can be advantageous to him, well, then he may very well start discussing cars, boats, or the latest politics. Play ball with him. But then and only then.

Deliver your opinion without blinking. In the end, you might have to concede, but never sell yourself short. The best thing you can do is place yourself in the center of the storm, telling him that he’s wrong. When a Red discovers that you won’t give in, he will turn in an instant.

Show that you work hard. You should report back regularly about what you have done and present—briefly—the result of your efforts. Be willing to take initiative. Offer suggestions that the Red didn’t ask for. 

If you really want to help Reds do better work, try to demonstrate the benefits of keeping an eye on the details. Explain that the results will be better and profits larger if they just consider a couple of small but crucial elements of the project. If you’re good at arguing, your advice will be followed.

Give examples of instances where time was lost by being too hasty. Point out the risks involved in hurrying too much. Explain that others can’t keep up, and point out that it would be great if everyone knew what the project was about. Don’t give in. Assert that not even he can manage everything himself. Force a Red to wait for others.

Reds calculate risks by constantly looking at the facts. Facts are something they understand. Give examples of situations that historically were shown to be dangerous. Prove things with facts and demand that the person thinks twice before deciding to take on a new project without first having checked the conditions.

Reds need to understand that the road to full transparency is to adapt to others. By realizing that no one can manage everything alone, they can be prevailed upon to pause and actually care about other people.

You should confront his behavior immediately. Don’t allow any exceptions; just say loudly and clearly that you won’t tolerate coarse remarks, nastiness, and uncalled-for tantrums. Demand adult behavior, and if he loses his temper just leave the room. It’s important that you never let him get his way just by barking his head off.

Adapting to Yellow Behavior

A Yellow functions best when he is happy and content. His creativity is at its zenith and all his positive energy flows. You should strive to create a warm and friendly atmosphere around him. Smile a lot, have fun, and laugh. Listen to his crazy jokes, laugh along at all his childish remarks, and kindle the easygoing and happy-go-lucky atmosphere.

Always start with the big questions. If you want to keep a Yellow’s attention, strip away as much of the minutia as you possibly can.

Yellow feels his way. He has a high tolerance for uncertainty and isn’t overly afraid of risks. Adapt to it.

Allow a Yellow to devote himself to the latest thing. He’ll love it. If you want to sell something to a Yellow, use expressions like “state-of-the-art,” “newly developed,” and “never before used.”He’ll like you because you’re so exciting and so interesting and, above all, innovative. Equip yourself with lots of energy, because it can be challenging to keep up-to-date, but Yellows will adore you. However, be prepared to be replaced rather quickly if they find someone else who is even more knowledgeable about newer things.

Become approachable. Demonstrate that you’re available; smile a lot; be sure to have open body language.

You have to know what your message is and exactly what response you need from them. You must persuade the Yellow, happy person to answer your questions very concretely.

Coordinate all appointments properly with Yellows. Synchronize your watches.

If you really want to help a Yellow get organized, make sure he gets at least some structure in his life. Help out by creating a simple list. Create a structure for him. Yellows are the ones who are most in need of structure in the form of diagrams and checklists.

Yellows like getting attention; they throw themselves into the center of things faster than anyone else. They need to understand that there are other people in the room and they have to let others enter the conversation. You may very well become enemies in the process. You’re definitely taking a risk here.

Yellows talk more than they work. They have a penchant for talking about everything they need to do rather than actually doing anything. To help your Yellow friend you need to make sure that he puts his shovel in the ground and starts digging. Push him, but push gently. Treat him a little bit like you would treat a child. Be kind but clear.

If you wish to get through to a Yellow with negative feedback, you need to be persistent. Create a friendly atmosphere in the room and find the right tone so that your criticism lands where it should. Clarity is key. Make sure to be extremely well prepared, with all possible facts to substantiate your claims. Get real answers to your questions, and be sure that he understands the message. Insist that he writes down what you have said. Ask him to repeat your feedback.

Adapting to Green Behavior

Show that you’re prepared to listen to what he is anxious about. Help your Green friend to face his fear of the unknown. Encourage him to brave things that feel scary and still move ahead.

Allow the Green his periods of peace, quiet, and inactivity. He needs to function like that.

Ease Greens’ minds by explaining every step of the plan.

If you have a comment to make about a Green’s behavior, make sure you’re careful about how you present it. If it involves criticism, you should deliver it in private. Make sure that the person you are talking to understands that you still like him, but that you believe that he and the group (work team, sports team, family, association) will function better if he changes certain things. Don’t ask him what he can do about the behavior; just ask him to do certain specific things.

If you want Greens to accept change, you’ll have to equip yourself with a good dollop of patience. Break down the process into small pieces and set aside a few weeks to persuade, win over, and spell out the particulars. You must describe the process in detail, and since no one is going to take any notes, you’ll have to go through it again, and again, and again until the message gets home.

If you want to make headway with a large group of Greens, you have to take command, get a firm hold on the steering wheel, and, in some cases, simply get into the driver’s seat yourself. They won’t get started unless you put them on the track.

Adapting to Blue Behavior

Make sure you can show that you’ve done your homework and are well prepared. And—most important—if you don’t have the answer, just say so. Acknowledge that you don’t know. Don’t offer any excuse just to get out of the situation.

Stick to the task. Work with checklists where factual matters are noted—things you can tick off together with the Blue. Don’t ask how things are going for him on a personal level.

Think through what you want to say and what you want to convince a Blue to believe. Put daydreams and visions aside. It may even be worth rethinking the kind of language you will use to talk about your plan. Skip all those inspirational speeches. Stick to the facts, and be clear.

Prepare yourself well. When you think you’re prepared and that you know all there is to know about an issue, go through it all one more time. Make sure you have answers to absolutely everything. Accept that this person might want to have more data to feel secure. Give him the details he needs in order to move on.

Be particularly meticulous in your work when trying to impress a Blue; otherwise, he will view you as sloppy and careless. Avoid criticizing Blues for taking too much time or fussing over details that may be unnecessary. Instead, praise them for their attention to detail and the superior work they do. Let the Blue understand that you are doing quality work and that you understand its value.

Remind Blues that other people have feelings. Give examples of times when he bruised other people’s feelings. Explain that he doesn’t need to express himself critically all the time. Show him that people can take great offense when others criticize their home, car, spouse, or children. Be clear and tell him that being honest isn’t an excuse for being callous. Point out that constant criticism rarely accomplishes anything.

Calmly and methodically tell the Blue that he needs to speed up. This time is precious and must be used correctly. Point to the big picture. Give him valid reasons he should go against his instincts to be slow.

Tell your Blue friend that if he has to make a decision without all the facts, he can follow his gut. This can apply to work or ordering at a new restaurant. Speak clearly and loudly to the Blue, and explain that if he doesn’t make a decision he’ll end up going hungry. Prove that it’s better to do something rather than remaining paralyzed, waiting for more information. Point out that that it’s logical to use intuition in this situation because you don’t have all of the facts.

In order to get something to happen, provide the decision maker with the necessary data required for him to make a decision about one of the candidates. Push him to make a choice. Remind him that the deadline is approaching. Point out the repercussions of delaying the decision.

You can read in depth about the four personality types in the book ‘Surrounded by Idiots’ by Thomas Erikson.

Categories
Books

Mud or Stars (New Prisoner Welcome Booklet) by Peter Sage

New Prisoner Welcome Booklet

Mud or Stars by Peter Sage is not exactly a book, it is a fictional story that Peter Sage wrote when he was in jail. It is part of the New Prisoner Welcome Booklet that he designed for new inmates but I think the principles of this story is applicable to all areas of life. 

These are the 6 principles of this story from New Prisoner Welcome Booklet (I have made moderations so that they are applicable in daily life): 

  1. Everyone has grievances and unhappiness but nobody really cares about them so don’t go around talking about your unhappiness. 
  2. I always get to choose what I focus on. Mud or Stars. 
  3. Don’t cry over spilled milk, crying over it won’t make it any different. Accept that the milk is spilled and figure out how to deal with it. 
  4. Life is like a mirror. If I am angry at the world, the world gets angry with me. 
  5. Circumstances can restrict my liberty but not my freedom. No one can ever do anything to me emotionally without my permission. 
  6. Set myself up to win. Learn the ropes, get busy, set a goal. 
Categories
Books

Purple Cow: Transform Your Business by Being Remarkable

Purple Cow

I have read quite a few articles talking about the book Purple Cow. I was intrigued but not motivated to get the book until I read about it in the TradeBriefs newsletter that sends articles many times a day to my email. Maybe it was because I was looking for something new to read, but I bought the book Purple Cow.

Purple Cow revolves around the concept that you or your company needs to be remarkable to stand out from the competition and thrive.

The author believes that TV-industrial age is long over (I agree) and consumers are advertising-adverse (I agree too).

Seth Godin argues that the only way for anyone and any company to survive in the current era is to be a Purple Cow. Your company or business needs to stand out from the crowd so that sneezers (people who like new things and who likes to share) can help you spread the word about your product or company. 

3/4 of the book are case studies of companies that either adopted the Purple Cow mindset and thrived or did not and fizzled out. It is inspiring to read all the case studies and see how those companies did it. 

The last chapter is a new addition where readers wrote in to tell stories of Purple Cow companies they have encountered. 

Every company and everybody should read the book Purple Cow. Get Purple Cow by Seth Godin here